DC Intern Diaries

I'm a female 24 year old DC permanent intern. You name it and I've probably interned it. I'm also a graduate student in DC.

Monday, July 19, 2004

Apply now to be the Apprentice


Sigh. Has my life really come to this? Do I need a high paying job badly enough to make an ass of myself on national television? Would I have what it takes, coming from DC and all, to out-Omarosa the original?

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Kick the Kickball Players

If I get one more email message from my kickball team I am going to scream! All day long they email about kickball and getting wasted. I'd much rather get wasted than talk about it all day!

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Ode to Bosses Makes it on Wonkette

But you read it here first!


A Reader from Wonkette:
I almost choked on my coffee today at the interns versus staff fight at the Stephanopoulos sighting. Talk about two groups that deserve each other. Interns living on their parents' money partying in Washington all summer have no right to complain about anything. That said, where does your one erstwhile staffer e-mailer think staffers come from? Oh yeah, working class kids in debt up to their eyeballs out of college can really afford to take a 25K job on the Hill. [If they are willing to go anal, maybe! -- Ed.] There are few creatures on earth lower than the Hill rat living on mommy and daddy's money thinking they are important. Yeah, answering letters from old ladies in tennis shoes for Congressman Good for Nothing who gave you the job because your parents had enough money to donate to a winning campaign and also had enough money to pay your tuition at American after you were too stupid to get into GW or Georgetown. Color me impressed.


Sunday, July 11, 2004

Dewey Beach Blog

So me and the girls (9 of us total) went to Dewey Beach this weekend. For once, no drama (last year H told R that S and me were talking smack about her and R got upset) and no vomiting (H puked all over the place and blocked access to the toilet all night)!! I was very excited about that. And wings to go at 3 am. First night, went to Eds, then Rusty Rudder. Had jello shots with whipped cream...danced...chatted with cute boys and the girls...don't remember what comes after...oh yeah, wings. Second night, went to crabs, then Rusty Rudder. Had shots in a tube...danced...chatted with the girls and cute boys...after...wings...sleep. Apparently I kicked M in my sleep, sorry M!

M met a boy. He's not from DC, but I hope he calls her! He wanted to talk. No seriously he did. He made up "make out" stories to tell his friends because he wanted to talk and not actually make out with her. How adorable! R and her boy wound up talking quite a bit too.

I got sorta burned the last day. We didn;t do the trampoline thing on the bay which we did last year and was oodles of fun, particularly when people got stuck on the slide or fell of the trampoline. I got really burnt then anyway, so probably good thing I didn't. I need to reapply about 15 times a day. The few places I only reapplied 3 or 4 times got burnt, including my feetsies! Ow!

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Ode to Bosses, From an Intern

From: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/rnr/35839393.html

Reply to: anon-35839393@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-07-08, 5:16PM EDT

Ode to Bosses, From an Intern

Oh, bosses, how I hate ye
You are so very stupid

At my job, you sit near me
You yell at me
For being stupid
But today you have brought
Your baby
To work
You are introducing him
Like we care about fawning over your kid

You are the worst things
to happen to Washington
Since the 10 cent metro fare increase
(you are even more useless)

You hide from going out
Like a bunch of old nesting raccoons
Last night at a stop sign
I had to wait 10 minutes
For you to cross
With your walker
You might also shop at
What are you,
150 years old?

Oh bosses, you are so stupid
Why do you think we even
Care about Wonkette

I have seven words for you

One day I will be your boss

Ode to Interns

Not the most creative or well-worded ode. Makes me wonder where this guy works. But we can all understand the sentiment.

From: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/rnr/35334998.html

Reply to: anon-35334998@craigslist.org
Date: 2004-07-02, 12:35PM EDT

Oh, interns, how I hate ye
You are so very stupid

At my job, you sit near me
You get yelled at
For being stupid
But today you have brought
Your dad
To work
You are introducing him
Like a total douchebag

You are the worst things
to happen to Washinton
Since Panda-mania
(you are even more useless)

You roam the streets of Georgetown
Like a horde of wild animals
Last night at a stop sign
I had to wait 10 minutes
For 100 of you to cross
With your stupid Lush bags
You might also shop at
Commander Salamander
What are you,
In high school?

The fourth of July
Will be the worst intern day
In the history of stupid interns
They will take the metro
To the mall, which will be near
Their stupid Hill office buildings

Oh interns, you are so stupid
I bet you have never even
Heard of Wonkette

I have three words for you

Go fuck yourselves

Friday, July 02, 2004

Sweet! No work on Sundays in Virginia!

Virginia's legislature and governor have accidentally resurrected an archaic law that allows employees to demand Sunday as a "day of rest," throwing many of the state's business leaders into a panic about the possibility that stores, airlines, hospitals and factories might be forced to shut down on weekends.


anyone for politicalporn.com?

So basically, one can get around the First Amendment issues and campaign finance regs by showing pornagraphic campaign ads...

From the Wall Street Journal today:

Does it strike anyone else as odd that the Supreme Court seems to be providing more First Amendment protection to pornography than to political speech?

This seems to be a fair question following the Court's decision this week to frown upon, for the third time in eight years, a Congressional law attempting to protect minors from sexually explicit material on the Internet. In contrast, the same Court was only too happy last year to endorse the substantial limits on political speech that were part of the McCain-Feingold campaign-finance reform. Somehow we doubt this is what the Founders had in mind in passing the Bill of Rights.

The Supremes have yet to rule on the merits of the Child Online Protection Act, so it's too soon to say whether the Court will break with legal precedent and carve out new protections for pornographers. This week's decision dealt instead with the more narrow question of whether a lower court was correct to issue an injunction against the law, and it ordered the court to commence a trial.

Yet that didn't stop the 5-4 majority in Ashcroft v. ACLU from delivering a sermon on the perils of curtailing free speech. "Content-based prohibitions, enforced by severe criminal penalties, have the constant potential to be a repressive force in the lives and thoughts of a free people," wrote Justice Anthony Kennedy. He also noted it is important to guard against such threats even when Congress was determined to pass a law. What a relief that Larry Flynt can keep pretending he's Thomas Paine.

Alas, such high-minded sentiments were not on display last December when many of the same Justices decided to let Congress ban political speech as long as it is financed by the wrong people, or in the wrong way. The perverse consequences of that decision are already showing up in the multiple and inventive ways that political activists are trying to evade McCain-Feingold's Rube Goldberg legal framework during this election year.
For instance, the National Rifle Association has created a satellite radio program ("NRANews") that reaches some 400,000 listeners. If the advocacy group runs old-fashioned political ads about candidates within 60 days of an election, it will violate McCain-Feingold. But as long as it is producing news or commentary, the NRA can speak to its heart's content, much as the New York Times or this newspaper does every day. Sincere congratulations to the NRA for its creativity, but this is the kind of absurd hoop-jumping that the Court's First Amendment dereliction now requires.

Meanwhile, the Federal Election Commission has landed the duty of deciding who else can speak, or not. Last week it delayed a decision on whether Michael Moore, creator of "Fahrenheit 9/11," must stop airing ads about his anti-Bush film, since those ads contain unflattering references to the President seeking re-election.

Mr. Moore is an "artist" whose expression ought to be protected by the First Amendment. Yet if he can freely advertise his propaganda condemning a political candidate during an election season, why can't that same political candidate make a movie extolling his own record and advertise that? But, no, that might violate McCain-Feingold.

On the other hand, if a right-wing pornographer made a pro-Bush film featuring erotic scenes and put it on the Internet within 60 days of an election, would the Supreme Court call it protected speech? Just asking.